Love is in the air

I left a random comment on my friend Blobby’s blog about a month ago. In it I described how I’d been in a cafe in North London minding my own business, but had slowly become aware of a man and a woman seated behind me. Both of them were talking loud enough to be overheard. I won’t bore you with the exact details of their diatribe but their views were that homosexuality was a shameful abomination. It absolutely shocked me. Yet what had made me particularly mad about that day was not, ironically, the man and the woman. It had been my own reaction. I was so furious with myself that I hadn’t been able to confront them with a cutting or biting or witty or sarcastic put down. Instead, I’d just gotten up and walked right out into the street with a cold coffee and a half eaten cookie. And then I’d fumed about what I should have said all day long.

Needless to say when I got home Guido put things, as he always does, in complete perspective.

“What does it matter what these sort people think? They’re a dying breed.”

He was tossing a mixed salad at the time and I’ve never realised how leaves in a mustard dressing could be so hypnotically therapeutic.

“It’s who loves us and how we show love back that’s important. Forget all about their hate because the only person who’ll feel bad about it – is you.”

He was right.

Fast forward to yesterday when Guido’s father celebrated his 70th birthday. It was time to show him the love. Inexplicably my mother, Cruella, had actually called me to say she thought it would be a terrific idea if she and my father threw Juan a surprise party. Honestly, ever since my parents remarried my mother’s been acting like a Stepford Wife resident. She’s either had a personality transplant without telling me or is having a hell of a lot of sex. But let’s not go there.

Anyway of course the idea ended up with Guido catering and tables set and candles lit in the courtyard at The Spanish Onion. There were lots of Juan’s friends at the party I’ve never even had the opportunity to introduce readers to; other you’d have known. Guido’s mother, Rosa, sang an interesting version of happy birthday in the style of a Hispanic Marilyn Monroe. My parents were embarrassingly loved up. The Twins (remember them?) were back from an ashram in India. They’d both shaved their heads so it was still impossible to tell which was which. My artist friend Elton turned up. His latest show is proving a blockbuster. Marc introduced us to his new Portuguese boyfriend, and I have to say both were positively glowing. Fingers tightly crossed; I’m hopefully optimistic. Ethel and Bethany from the laundromat next door brought some of their lethal homemade hooch and later, Gary finally flew in. Brian wagged his tail.

When it got dark I went back into the kitchen to get some more candles and cold wine, and after a moment or two I glanced out of the open window because the most wonderful sound seemed to be wafting though the air. It’s hard to describe it in words but let’s just call it; love.

And I’ll choose that over hate every time.

42 thoughts on “Love is in the air

  1. I probably would have said something to that couple, perhaps along the lines of “I’m a big old queer and you two can …. [rash of expletives]”

    But Guido is right.No matter what you might have said, they’d never change their minds, so it’s best to know that you love, and you are loved,and those other folks can just … [rash of expletives].

    You live your life in love and you win.
    You live your life in hate and that’s all you’ll ever have.

    I LOVE this post!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. FELIZ CUMPLEANOS to your FIL; he’s not much older than I am.
    LOVE this song; let’s dance!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I can never think of the right thing to say to that kind of insanity, but Bob is right. You wouldn’t have been able to change their minds no matter what you said.

    There’s an old proverb, “Living well is the best revenge.” You and Guido seem to have that handled already 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I live in France so follow the British Embassy in Paris’ FB page for (obviously) news about those of us caught in the Brexit limbo will be treated! But today they posted on how they supported the Pride marches across France. Bloody great. So I reposted it on my own FB page because my ex-husband is a homophobic Trump supporting, one-toothed redneck. It’ll probably make him burst a blood vessel (with any luck)!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I absolutely LOVED this post. It was so well written, with such a positive spin. (and I love that song) I wouldn’t have said anything to those people either because nothing will change their minds. But the good thing is that with each generation people are more accepting, and I know this because I have taught school for years, and I can see it with each passing year. Thanks again for sharing this.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Wow. What a reunion episode. That was such a sweet gesture by Cruella. I guess that is where you get your sweet nature from?

    Is Brian still couchsurfing with you? How is that working out?


  7. Well I had the same hateful rhetoric said to me and I was also completely caught off guard. Normally I have kind of a smart mouth but it always fails me when I need it most. At one time I would have been hurt, now comically I automatically think, “I didn’t know they are ignorant and backward”. Your honey bunny had the best response I feel. I love this post as well, only the people around you matter.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah I think sometimes there is something lacking in people like that. If you’re sensitive it’s hard not to be affected. But as you say you become more sanguine. It’s the only way to stay sane.


  8. We’ve all found ourselves in the same situation you described above and I concur with Guido 100%. Focusing on love doesn’t mean you’re blind to the hate but love is a far more productive place to focus your attention and energy. There is a reason the phrase “Love wins” is so powerful.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Living in a country being consumed by hate with a government run by an incompetent adulterer and misogynist, it’s good to know love is in the air in your community.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I love this post too. I love how your sense of humor shines through even on relatively serious topics. Don’t waste your breath on people who don’t matter, and cherish the ones who do.
    I did forget for a moment that Brian is a dog. I was wondering what kind of party this was with someone wagging his tail!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I have no advice – only condolences & at the same time congrats – it was their loss, dear. Ignorant hateful people scare me because indeed they can hurt… But fortunately, there are more good folks than bad. i grew up thankful for the kindness of strangers.


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