Love lost and found

My parents got remarried yesterday. I’ll spare you every minutia of detail. But suffice it to say there would have been enough drama in the run up to write a blog post every day for the next twenty five years.

What I will tell you is my mother wore pink chiffon (now I know where I get my interest from) and my father wore his usual blue crushed velvet number. Which he was still ominously referring to as his “marriage suit.” Let’s hope this (number 4) really is its last outing. It’s a miracle of modern tailoring, and his ability to suck his stomach in for extended periods, that he still fits in it. After they exchanged vows my parents stared into each other’s eyes. It was actually quite moving. Outside the Registry Office Guido said I threw a box of confetti over their heads with particular gusto. I guess it was the relief it was all over. Then we took a cab to Boulevard Brasserie in Covent Garden where we met a whole bunch of their friends. I’ll give them this – my parents sure know how to throw a terrific party. They both looked very happy; like people who, whatever they have found again, had been given a second chance.

Today, in stark contrast to love (re)found, was love horribly lost. This morning I met Gary. We drank a coffee and split a double chocolate chip muffin at the cafe. I’ll be honest. The conversation was difficult. We spoke about him returning back to work at the airline. He was keeping busy working extra shifts – he said. I asked him if he was eating properly. He was trying to but keeping busy working extra shifts – he said. I asked how he was coping. He was coping by working extra shifts – he said. Everytime I mentioned Ted’s name, Gary wept. You cannot simply wash away all those years of loving together in four months. Bereavement is such a lonely torture.

“Somebody told me that how I feel will never change,” said Gary, “but how I deal with those feelings eventually does.”

As he left I hugged him and said we’d meet for lunch. He was busy working extra shifts, but he’d try – he said.

Later, when Guido finished lunch service, I asked him to come upstairs with me and we decadently had sex right in the middle of the afternoon. It was sex of the making love variety – as opposed to the sex of the jumping off our chest of drawers enthusiastically holding a tube of spreadable cheese variety.

I guess you could say Guido and I are neither a love lost nor one newly found. We’re in a category all by ourselves that’s called an ongoing “work in progress.” But what I do know is, whatever we’ve got, I never want it to end.

[Apologies for the technical glitch. And to any readers who get this post twice]

39 thoughts on “Love lost and found

  1. JP, this one’s a little like a sandwich.

    First we laugh.

    “It’s a miracle of modern tailoring, and his ability to suck his stomach in for extended periods, that he still fits in it.”

    Then we cry.

    Then we laugh.

    “It was sex of the making love variety – as opposed to the sex of the jumping off our chest of drawers enthusiastically holding a tube of spreadable cheese variety.”

    A fine sandwich indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy for your parents and I hope they conspire secretly to give you a hard time about the whole thing.

    As for your friend Gary, his heart has been broken in a horrible way, I really feel for him, I have nothing useful to add, what can a person say in a situation like this.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I read it takes 7 years for the death of a loved one to not hurt so very much. The first year is the worst year. Every holiday, birthday, special occasion will emphasize the loss. Gary will always miss Ted. In time the pain does get less intense. A very dear much loved friend of mine died 24 years ago. I still think about him every day.

    Congratulations on your family being made whole again. What are the odds it stays together?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So sorry for your friend. It will get better.

    Congratulations to your parents. I hope all goes well.

    I like that you said you and Guido are a work in progress. You’re in it for the long haul.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Grief is so horrible to experience. We want to ‘do something’ about it but we can not. In the end we can only go forward but for most of us we can not ‘move on’.

    Like

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