Patio Daddio

Boy, do I enjoy Guido’s sausage.

God this blog is getting utterly predictable. And, talking of utter predictability – The British Weather. It’s a sad but indisputable fact that in my warped mind there’s a delicious connection between Summer time and sausages.

I’ve always been in love with our Summer. It’s quirky and it’s unfathomable. It’s an enigma. It has a life all of its own. The sun can turn up unexpectedly and scorch slap bang in the middle of February then, for the whole of August, I’ll be wearing a plastic poncho.

Well this year it swept in right on cue a few weeks ago only to blow straight back out again.

“It’s here again,” said Guido staring up at the sky last night. “Up there, behind those whispy clouds is the sun, and it’s shining bright,” he said, pointing upwards with his index finger.

I took off my glasses and looked up hopefully. I half expected a big old drip from our leaky gutter to drop straight into my eye. I blinked. He was right. There it was.  I could immediately imagine sipping white rum, orange curaçao and a twist of lime.

There’s another big phenomenon when the sun eventually decides to shine in Bermondsey. In the first flush of a warm June I can guarantee the same thing always happens.

“You know what?” Guido stood on the steps to our loft.  “I’ve got that balmy June feeling,” and he said it like he meant it in a way that might involve sausages.

This was good.

“I’d say conditions are pretty terrific tonight.”

There was a pause.

“I’m going to get it out.”

This was better than good.

I accept that on a cold night when Guido says the words – I’m going to get it out – it usually involves at least one of us having to take all of our clothes off. But what he meant last night was he’s got a rickety old handmedown hibachi grill his father used to burn on the beach in Malaga. It’s seasoned by time and decades of spatchcock chicken and burnt old bamboo kebab sticks. It’s the foolproof and well oiled secret ingredient to Guido’s perfect barbecue.

I telephoned our friends Ted and Gary.

“Brace yourselves,” I said, “Guido’s getting it out.” I could almost hear them salivating down the line.

Ten minutes later they showed up at our place with Brian their super intelligent Jack Russell. All three of them were panting with their tongues hanging out.

“Where’s his big sausage?” asked Ted hopefully.

Guido lit the hibatchi.

Then there was a tap tap on the back gate. It was Bethany and Ethel, our hungry neighbours from the laundrette next door.

“I could tell by the smell of smouldering wood chips Guido had got it out,” Ethel said. “I’ve brought you a bottle of my homemade hooch.” She had the mesmerised look of someone with a blackened pork chop praying on her mind.

I should have known Guido isn’t really like other guys who grill. Until last night I’d never had smoked oysters with roasted garlic butter and romano, toasted vegetable quesadillas with kale pesto, then baked barbecued bananas and vanilla ice cream.

I’m really loving the start of Summer.

I just hopes it sticks around long enough for Guido to get his sausage out.


56 thoughts on “Patio Daddio

  1. Well, you do know how to put a vegan on the spot🙄 Guido’s sausage is really none of my business, but after some time wrestling with it I feel I can ‘like’ that the sun came out too and that you all had a good time enjoying each other’s company 😄


    • Apologies – we should have gone done the tofu route! What can I say? Kale? I usually find it indigestible but I loved it. So much more tasteful than just chopped in a minestrone. I hope the sun shines for you over the weekend x

      Liked by 1 person

      • Not a fan of kale either, but I juice it and recently tried kale crisps which I loved – massage kale with coconut oil and spices and cook on a tray at 180C for about 10 mins – not a fan of tofu either 😄 Sun’s out! 28C today yay! ☀️☀️☀️ Have a great weekend 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  2. “white rum, orange curaçao and a twist of lime” – make me one and I’ll come running! as for guido’s sausage, sorry; I am not a sausage person. well, not THAT kind of sausage (pork); hee hee hee! 🙂

    have a good weekend to all in bermondsey!


  3. Oh, this is such a tease. I was hoping to have a fun night in the garden, but that’s been scuppered by some particularly ominous skies. Summer indeed. Hopefully, lots more ‘getting it out’ where you are!


  4. All this talk of Guido getting it out, is probably the equivalent of me putting mine away!

    Meanwhile is the smoked oysters with roasted garlic butter and romano, toasted vegetable quesadillas with kale pesto, then baked barbecued bananas and vanilla ice cream what you had???

    Can I borrow Guido for just a week?


  5. Wow, what a meal! The most interesting thing I’ve grilled is cabbage (which actually *was* quite interesting), but I’m totally drooling over the quesadillas and bananas.


  6. Guido can make all that on a hibachi? I thought those things only made hot dogs and steaks. Proof positive that it’s not what you have, it’s what you do with it…
    Happy summer 🙂


  7. Hi JP, Ted here, many thanks for inviting us round for a taste of Guido’s big sausage, and amazing what Guido can do with a banana!!
    If this nice weather continues Guido will have to get his ‘Big Hose’ out, We could always pop round to help!!!


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