Nude

Last night our friends Gary and Ted came round to the café after closing time to eat linguine and play poker. Just to clarify. The linguine and the sauce was homemade. The poker was much more messy. Gary and Ted shuffle ruthlessly and constantly win. Ted makes Cool Hand Luke look like a pathetic loser.

“Did you know,” I said, “being naked surrounded by a group of people makes you feel good?”

Everybody stopped staring at their cards. If you’re ever looking for a conversation stopper, do try it.

“Honest to God,” I said, “I heard it on the radio earlier whilst I was in the bath.”

There’s been a serious study. It’s been published in (and I’m not making this up) the Journal of Happiness Studies. They’ve come to the conclusion that taking off your clothes around strangers is probably good for you.

“You’re making this baloney up,” said Ted. I could tell by his nonchalant use of the word baloney that he had the makings of a great hand.

“No, honestly,” I said. I made a cross my heart sign with my spoon. “Anyway, if it’s in the Journal of Happiness then it’s got to be true, right?”

I’ve never actually read anything published in that Journal before but I definitely do like the sound of it. The next time I’m having a down day I’m going to look it up and start thumbing through it enthusiastically to see where I’ve been going wrong. Putting clothes on in the morning, by the sounds of it.

“Apparently 850 British people were asked to fill out an online survey,” I said, “and it was found that those who spent more time naked were happier with their bodies.”

I thought this was terrific news. Who cares that the rest of the world is going down the pan. Just strip off and everything will be fine. Shout it from the roofs I say!

“Wow,” said Gary. “Perhaps the next time we come over to play cards everybody should take all their clothes off before the first round.” He paused. I think he was weighing up the pros and cons of how this might affect any winning streak. “Though I do realise this could make it difficult to concentrate if any one of us was holding a Straight Flush in their hand at the time.”

“It’s possible,” said Guido sagely, “that the people who were surveyed were happier with their bodies in the first place so were more likely to spend time naked, and it’s not that being naked made them any more happier.”

I don’t know about you but I had to get Guido to repeat that sentence three times before I understood what the hell he was going about. Maybe it’s just me, but I think he should just stick to linguine.

“Okay,” I said, “it’s fine for you, Mr Einstein with a six-pack. But what about the rest of  us who spend half our lives on The Banana Diet, and the other half sucking everything in.”

Relax. There is light at the end of this tunnel of nudity. Apparently the findings also suggested that seeing other people naked could be even more beneficial than being seen naked yourself. A brief surf of the net, for purely scientific purposes, confirms this is correct.

These guys at The Happiness Institute really know what they’re talking about.

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57 thoughts on “Nude

  1. Well, I go to a clothing optional camp ground in the summer and it is interesting. While I don’t have a ripped body, I aint complaining either. Did I feel happier? Yes, but it may have been the gin. And others did seem happy when I got naked. Now…. if you all play cards naked, what happens when one of you drops a card under the table???

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  2. Strangely I understood what Guido said almost immediately, just saying. One of the joys of our old apartment was that there was no one across the street to see if I ran fetchingly from bathroom to bedroom as god had created me. Unfortunately being now on the second floor means that the good people at SPUD Radio can look into at least three of our 18 windows. It’s still a distance but I would rather that a whale sighting on Water St not be advertised on Island wide radio.

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  3. I understood what Guido said, you were flustered maybe. Tell you what, take naked pictures of Guido post them on your blog and we will all be a lot happier. That would be a nice thing to do for your blogger reader, don’t you think?

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  4. I’m all for playing strip poker. Wearing pants is over rated. I do find however sitting problematic (rolls and such) I much prefer lounging everywhere. It’s all about how you drape yourself across a bed. Strip poker in bed maybe? Or are Gary and Ted not those kind of friends? 😉

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  5. Before we sold our house out in the country, and our friend and neighbor sold his (with its ‘clothing optional’ swimming pond) we spent many an hour ‘being naked surrounded by a group of people’.
    Sigh;-)

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  6. I agree with you that looking at others naked brings much more happiness than stripping off myself (Well it would if they had a six pack and were below 80, unlike the type of people I usually see naked)!

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  7. I’m kinda Team Guido on this one; people who already like their bodies don’t mind the nudity.
    The others? Well, maybe they need a minute.
    That said, I do have a tendency to stroll buck nekkid through our Casa from time-to-time and Carlos doesn’t seem to mind.

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  8. First, thank you for reading my recent post on ReluctantRebel. It reminded me that I haven’t been checking in to read yours or Mitchell’s or Russ’ or anyone else’s blog because I’ve been obsessed to the point of depression over what is happening here in the US. I have lately been unable to watch an entire news broadcast and read only occasional articles on the internet news. This has helped my mood considerably. I will leave it at that.
    Second, I will say that I admire your dedication to writing. My blog has devolved into posting the thoughts and insights of others and occasional photos of our new life in New Mexico. My resolve to write creatively has gone out the window.
    Third, I will tell you that my first experience at a nude beach, back in 1984 when I was still relatively young, was extremely liberating. My husband and I subsequently made it our hobby to find nude beaches wherever we travelled and we also frequented several clothing optional gay campgrounds on the East Coast over the years. Now, however, outside of our home, there is no nudity whatsoever in New Mexico. This is probably a good thing for our fellow New Mexicans.

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